Furry Love
by just goddamn peachy
Summary: Sarah finds herself trying to help Ludo wooing his true love.


Sarah Williams never questioned the absurdity of her life anymore. Between a maddening family and her constant contact with creatures who should not exist, it seemed quite futile to do so. And that was why she was not that surprised when she got home after a long day of work and she found a gigantic furry beast sulking on her tiny living room.

What did surprise her, though, was that he was there alone. There was no doubt Ludo adored her, but he usually only came to visit her accompanied her other friends. She always assumed that the shaggy beast didn't quite have the skill to use the portal and reach her. It seemed it was not the case.

After hanging her purse by the door and changing her ballerinas into her comfortable home slippers, Sarah approached her depressed friend.

"Ludo? What`s wrong?"

"Ludo SAAAAAD..."

"I can see that. Would you tell me why?"

"Ludo huwts..."

"You are hurting? Where? Did the goblins hurt you?" despite his enormous size and sharp claws, Ludo had too much of a gentle nature to even defend himself if needed. And for this Sarah always worried about him more than her other, less docile, friends. With a heartbreaking moan the creature explain the situation on the most prolix way he could.

"Pwetty lady not like Ludo!" at that the young woman blinked a couple of times, trying to make sense of the statement. Ludo had a... lady?

"So you have a crush?"

"Ludo in loooove!"

"Oh... fuck." If it was love there was not much she could do to help. The only thing she could think of was marching straight to the freezer, where 500 ml of Phish Food were waiting to mend her friend's broken heart. They both seated at the floor filling the void in their souls with empty calories, Sarah's head resting on Ludo's furry side. She was not very lucky with romance herself, only having one short relationship and some admires who were gently refused before showing their true self. Maybe Ben&Jerry were the only males she could count on... Forgetting how awful she was at matters of the heart, she tried to comfort the sad beast.

"So... she dumped you?"

"Ludo not talk to her"

"Then why...?"

"Ludo shy... lady soooo pwetty..." Knowing now that Ludo had no real reason to be depressed, Sarah got up in excitement. She was still a happy-ending-believer kind of romantic and her silly heart warmed at the idea of her friend finding love.

"Then all you have to do is talk to her! I bet she will see how amazing you are and will fall in love right back at you. Maybe you can do something special for her, like giving her flowers... or maybe serena" the young woman stopped mid word there. The idea of Ludo serenading anyone with his loud, moany, verbally challenged self was anything but romantic.

Then again, she had no idea how romance worked in the Undergroud. From her experience, all she could say was that drugging your intended into a romantic dance on a magical ballroom was a thing. Not that she would ever suggest Ludo did the same. Specially because he definitely could not pull out the tight-pants-open-shirt look as nicely as the Jareth.

Shooing thoughts of handsome kings and pants tightness away from her mind she started to consider the fact she also had no idea what kind of female Ludo was going after. Remembering the time the worm introduced his wife, a lovely tarantula by the name of Josephine, Sarah realized she had no idea of how to help. Was this lady even the same species as Ludo?

"So, Ludo, how is your lady? I mean... does she look like you?"

"Lady too pwetty look like Ludo!"

"Well, that is sweet, but it doesn't really answer the question. Is she big like you?"

"Ludo show."

Ludo decided that he could not, even in a million year, collect the words to describe his loved one beauty. He got up and walked to the mirror hanging at the wall, the one Sarah usually used to get in contact to her friends. Touching it lightly with the tip of one of this claws he made an image appear. As the human girl approached, she was greeted by the image of a rock caller, looking exactly like Ludo, sitting by a boulder almost a big as the creature.

So they where the same species. Identical even. There was no trait to indicate that the creature on the mirror was of a different gender than the one standing by her side. As the image faded and the mirror cleared, she realized was still not sure of how to better help Ludo getting his lady's affections, but he stared at the dispersing image with such fondness that Sarah knew she needed to help him.

"Do you know if women like flowers in the Underground?"

"Ludo not know." that was expected. They needed help of someone who actually knew the proper courting etiquette of the labyrinth. Not sure if it was the best choice, but not wanting to expose Ludo's feelings too much, Sarah called for reinforcement.

"Hoggle, I need you." In a matter of seconds the mirror changed again, to show the dwarf. From his surrounding, he was not at home, and he seemed quite distressed.

"Sarah? Hi, uh... I`m busy now... I will talk to you latter."

"No, Hoggle! Wait!" her exasperation stopped the dwarf from cutting the connection between both worlds. "I'm really sorry and I don't want to disturb you, but I need to ask you something. It will be fast. I promise."

"Uh.. sure, you can ask me anythin`" Sarah took a second to think about how to phrase her question.

"Can you tell me what is the best way to... romance someone over there?" Hoggle had a mortified expression that only matched her own as soon as the sound of a familiar laugh reached her ears.

"Little Sarah has grown up, has she? Even thinking about boys... Hofert, tell her I am more than willing to teach her anything she needs to know."

"Forget it. See you on taco night." in a very undignified manner the young woman threw herself at the wall, on an attempt to escape the gaze of the Goblin King. She was vaguely aware of the dwarf awkward goodbye, buy her ears seemed to give way more importance to the deep chuckle she could still hear coming out of cruel lips. Sarah felt herself slide to floor. Seated there, looking surely defeated, she noticed her furry friend did the same, his expression showing deep sorrow.

It was too soon to give up. Making sure no monarch was in her mirror, she tried to get reiforcements once more.

"Ser Didymos, I need you." unlike Hoggle, the knight was clearly not engaged with any other appointment, because he made himself present on her living room immediately. Mounting his loyal steed, Ambrossious, the old fox waved his sword around in the most menacing, if not adorable, way.

"Fear not, fair maiden! I will not allow any harm to come to thee!" noticing the lack of threats in the room he lowered his sword slightly "Brother Ludo is also here? Did I forget myself and made my most valued companions wait for me on taco night?"

"No, that's on Saturday."

"Oh. Then, must I ask, why have you, the loveliest of the maidens requested my humble assistance?"

"Ludo is in love." the fox decided it was a good time to dismount Ambrosious, which always was a bit tricky, considering his lack of depth perception. As soon as his master's weight was not felt on his back, the shepherd dog started to walk around, sniffing everything on his way. Soon he found the rest of uneaten ice cream and started licking it. Sarah was about to stop him, but reconsidered. Maybe he also had some heartache.

"Pwetty lady!"

"A maiden has capture your heart, huh? That is not motive for sadness! You must prove your value and gain her favor."

"That is why we called you, Ser Didymos. Surely a knight knows how to court a lady?"

"Well, but of course! You must rescue her from some evil ruffians! She will then give you a kiss as reward. That is when you take her on the back of your steed and ride to the sunset. Very simple indeed."

"Indeed. But I was thinking more along the lines of flowers. Would that work?"

"Well... If you insist in taking the less noble route... I do believe some maidens could be wooed by such manner."

"Good. I think I can help you get your pretty lady, Ludo."

"Sawa help!"

And help she did. The next taco night Sarah asked Hoggle's and Ser Didymus' assistance to clean and groom Ludo, which proved to be more than necessary, since he had some marshmallow stuck on his fur from the last time they made s'mores. In the lack of a male perfume, she used air freshener to make sure nobody smelled best in the labyrinth. She even made the beast wear a tie before giving him the bouquet of flowers she had bought earlier that day. It was with immense joy that she heard Ludo tell how taken by him his lady was. And her joy only grew when he asked if he could bring his lady on their next get together - the pizza night.

On said pizza night the three friends were chatting and waiting anxiously to meet the famous "pwetty lady". They were all smiles when Ludo showed up, dragging with him a familiar boulder, almost his size. Ser Didymus was the first to voice the general request.

"Brother Ludo, you surely have not forgotten to bring your fair maiden?" Ludo hugged the boulder tightly before making the proper presentations.

"Lady, fwiends. Fwiends, lady." the old fox seemed to be in shock at the statement. Hoggle scratched his head and tried to be discrete when questioning his human friend.

"Is Lady her name or is it because she be a lady rock?" Sarah simply simple shrugged in response, getting up to greet Ludo`s girlfriend. She even hugged the boulder and commented on her nice appearance.

Sarah Williams had, after all, gave up on questioning the absurdity of her life by this point. She did, however, fell from her seat later that night, when Ludo annouced he was going to be a daddy.

 _ **Author note: I don't even know...**_


End file.
